From lecture hall to happy hour: How to make friends while studying (without being creepy)

Studying is an exciting new phase of life — and for many, it begins with a major change. New city, new environment, new challenges. In addition to all the subject matter, you are suddenly faced with the question: How do I actually connect with this? Friendships make life more colorful, encourage exchange and relaxation — and provide support when things get stressful. But how exactly do you actually find friends during your studies? Here are a few tips that helped me — including suggestions from the classic book How to make friends by Dale Carnegie.

‍1. “Just” be open

Yes, sounds like a phrase and is probably easier said than done, but it's true: If you approach others with an open mind, you have the best chance of meeting new people quickly. Especially in the first weeks of the semester, most students are just as nervous and looking for contacts as you are. In his book, Dale Carnegie stresses the importance of a genuine interest in others. When you really care about the people around you, they notice it immediately and respond positively. A simple “How did you prepare for this exam? ” or “What are you studying and why? “can lead to exciting conversations — and often to friendships.

‍2. Study groups — together instead of alone

One of the best ways to make contacts is through study groups or so-called tutorials. Sometimes they just come naturally, as everyone in the course is thinking about the same tasks. But it also often helps to simply ask the group: “Who wants to sit down together? “Working together not only promotes learning success, but also creates a relaxed atmosphere in which you quickly get closer to each other. Carnegie advises setting aside your ego and showing others that you communicate on equal footing. If you're helpful in a group and show genuine appreciation, you'll benefit too — people are drawn to positive, helpful people. After the tutorial, going to a bar or to the nearest park with a few fellow students doesn't hurt, of course.

‍3. University groups and engagement

‍Almost every university offers a huge selection of student groups, initiatives and associations. Whether it's sports, theatre, environmental policy or gaming — there is something for everyone. Here you get to know people who have similar interests, and that creates a direct connection. An important tip from Carnegie's book: Smile. A simple smile opens doors and signals to your counterpart that you are friendly and open-minded. Especially in university groups where you may not know anyone yet, a smile helps break the ice.

‍4. Get active in a dormitory or in a shared flat

‍The dormitory or the shared flat offer a great opportunity to quickly connect, as many roommates are also new. Joint activities such as cooking or simply sitting together promote a sense of community. There are also often organized events or rooms where it is easy to get into conversation. If not, you can plan a game or cooking evening yourself to get to know others.

‍5. Use social media cleverly

Platforms such as WhatsApp and Facebook make it easy to establish digital contacts. Many universities have groups for first-year students or study programs that are ideal for exchanges and meetings. Here you can find study groups or organize leisure activities. It is important to specifically meet the right people with whom you are on the same wavelength.

‍6. Active listening

An important lesson from How to make friends: Be a good listener and encourage others to talk about themselves. We're often tempted to be the center of attention ourselves or share our own experiences, but true connections come when we listen sincerely. During your studies, you can implement this directly by showing interest in the stories, ideas and opinions of your fellow students. Ask them about their experiences and opinions — and really listen instead of just waiting to speak for themselves. People appreciate it when they notice that you're paying attention to them.

‍7. Be patient and be yourself

Friendships don't happen overnight. Especially at the beginning of your studies, it can take a while to find the right people. But don't let that discourage you! Another point that Carnegie emphasizes is: avoid criticism. When you approach others authentically and respectfully without judging them, it is easier for them to open up. So be patient and allow yourself and others to have time. Friendships are built on trust and sympathy — and sometimes that simply takes time.

‍conclusion

‍Making friends during your studies requires openness, active interest and sometimes a bit of courage. Like Dale Carnegie in How to make friends describes, the key is often to really perceive other people, to appreciate them and to listen to them. Take advantage of the many opportunities, whether in study groups, university initiatives or leisure activities, to get to know new people. If you remain authentic and wait for the right moment, the best friendships will develop almost by themselves. Remember that you don't have to obsessively become friends with everyone. Sometimes it's all you need to have a small but reliable handful of good friends who you can always rely on and who you're really on the same page with.